There are many days when I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really experiencing what is in front of me. I try to think of a class that prepared me for what I need to do, a girl scout camping lesson (I didn't even like girl scouts!), or a book I read with helpful hints. As I stood in a sea of black faces of those who came to see the "white woman" I remember thinking what prepared me for this and why me?
Over the weekend I visited the village of Guta and Buzingwe. Three of the families of last training course live in these villages. I told them that I would try to visit while I was up here for school. Finally, I felt well enough to make the venture. Yohanna met me in Bunda. A town that I knew how to get to from language school. He directed me to their village that rests on the banks of Lake Victoria. These families are some of the farthest away so a CMF Missionary had not yet ventured to visit. This was also my first time to be able to visit students that I have taught in the training course. It was a big weekend for all of us! Still as I set my trusty GPS to mark my tracks I thought to myself how does one prepare and why me?
My first home to visit was Yohanna and his wife. They are the beautiful young couple who lost a child. She has since miscarried in this new year. Their hearts are heavy and they desire so much to have a child. They are faithful in their service to God. They shared their struggles as we sat in their one room mud hut. They prepared ugali and a bowl of smaller sized fish. I attempted in my best Swahili to listen and encourage. I smiled as the fish in the bowl were looking back at me. But, believe me my stomach was not smiling! I tried not to think about it and enjoyed a lovely meal that was prepared in my honor. Lord bless them I prayed as we left their house. Bless them, who am I, and why me. Yohanna wanted me to meet his family. He was so very proud to take me to meet his parents and his grandfather. It is a great honor to the African Family to sit and visit. Countless times the honored seat I was given and in my best Swahili conversations were had. Yet, again, who am I to sit in the honored seat. Why me.
Zachariah and his wife Neema along with children Anna, Upendo, and Happy's household was the next stop. Happy is the baby that was born during last training session. How wonderful it was to hug "my" kids again! Their smiles were big and they were excited to see me. Once again warm sour milk was shared and conversations back and forth. Zachariah, too, had to take me to his parents house. By this time it was getting to the latter part of the afternoon. It rained. Not for long but it rained. Now, I don't quite know how to explain what this is like when this happens. Because more often than not we cry out for prayers for rain. We always need the rain desperately. It seems the rains are late again and it is very dry. When it rains like this in the bush great celebration occurs. The rains mean blessing and rejoicing! Which believe me should occur and does. But, for me out in the bush with no road and only a path made of quick sand like material as my road there is no rejoicing from my inner core. It is hard to paint the polar of emotions this brings. As we were squeezed in that mud hut extended family and all to them the shower was a sign of blessing of my arrival to their village. Who me? Certainly not me~ a blessing. Why me says the one shaking with muddy feet in the rain.
My muddy feet and strong determination along from blessing of the Lord pulled my car out from that village and back to where I was to stay the night. I only got stuck once but I was able to pull that beauty back out of the mud! My friends didn't want me staying in a guest house in the village town by myself. The pastor and his wife along with their six children welcomed me to their home for the night. Since they have two rooms in their mud hut! We spoke of the Sunday morning plans. The pastor needed to go to the other church in Buzingwe for the morning. Yohanna and myself were to remain in the Guta church and then meet up at the church in Buzingwe later in the morning. Of course these talks were over yet another plate of Ugali and Fish. This time it was fried but I think the fin might still be swimming around somewhere in my tummy. I made my muddy way to the pit bath room out back where I encountered the BIGGEST cockroaches I have EVER seen. Dirty and tired I made my way back to the hut. As I looked up at the stars that shown so bright I thought to myself. How Lord am I going to share tomorrow morning with these believers in nothing but Swahili? I am learning and making great head way but how am I going to stand before them and share anything that is of help to my friends of a different tongue? Why me and how?
I entered the hut and in the back room they gave me their mat to sleep on. Slightly raised patch of well I don't know what it is. Before I could turn in the ladies washed my feet. They refused to let me and slowly removed the dried mud from my toes. This is truly one of the most humbling acts. As the tears glistened in my eyes I continued to ask who am I and why me?
I rolled my sleeping back out and securely placed all my limbs in. Hot as I was the sleeping bag would hopefully keep me safe of bugs and soon to be chickens who slept in that room as well. For at 6am when they say the roaster crows it definitely does and scared me right into Sunday action!
Being a part of church is always a special time. Yohanna did a great job leading. It is always a joy to see the lives that you have invested in action! Worship is so joyful. The children came from miles to see the "white woman." The scripture in Mark 10:14 "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these" has always been one of my favorites. As word got out of the "white woman" in the village and how she is one who loves children. Children they came. Some came out of curiosity. Others were brought at my feet to learn, some where laid in my arms lethargic for prayer, and some for a touch to know that he/she is special. As one boy laid in my arms to weak to look at me. His belly bloated from mal-nurishment, worms, and sticking yet further was what had to be a tennis ball tumor. Why me? Who am I? All the things that I am not began to flood my heart and mind. What can I do for these children? These poor dirty faces who look at me and smile. I wanted to run. But, as I sat there with tears running down my checks with children all around. My question was answered. I heard it whispered in my ear separate from songs of worship. "Ask again He said!" "Why me was screaming inside?" "Because you are willing to go." With my children in Swahili poor and weak we sang to a God that loves and saves. Yes, I spoke in Swahili but the loving touches to the small faces looking up at me was what I could do.
Joseph and his family were waiting for us in Buzingwe. Momma Baraka will soon be having another baby! I soon realized that the children running around were not playing but chasing after our soon to be yet another meal! I then had the privilege of joining the woman to help prepare the chicken. There are some things that one just can't describe and probably are best left not to. There are now parts of the chicken I would like to say that I have never eaten but can now say that I have. Malaria must have really done a number on my stomach cause so far this hasn't bothered me! These families were so proud to show me their homes and treat me to a meal. I am humbled.
I am amazed at what I have learned and what I continue to learn. I sit in awe of the fact that God continues to allow me to be His ambassador of love when I have not a clue what I am doing! With those children on my lap as helpless as I felt I knew one thing for sure. I am willing to come and I am willing to love. The Lord confirmed in my compassionate heart that was all He asks of me and that is why me.
Prayer Points~
- Pray for these families and their villages
- These children who want to be loved
- my heart of compassion that is heavy with what I can do and what isn't about doing but being
- health and safety
- surviving this weekend with only Swahili proved that I have learned so much but there is still more to go!
Swahili Words with Wendy
huruma ~ compassion
tembelea ~ visit
shiba ~ satisfied (I learned this one well as they kept feeding me things
I wasn't sure how long I could eat!)
tosha ~ enough
mvua ~ rain
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