Do you have those seasons when it seems there are many questions? I do not doubt but I do have a lot of questions. I think that the exploration helps us to have a deeper faith as we seek for God in everything. The frustrating thing is how the world continues to try to taint the good found in His creation. I have slowly been making my way through a book given to me by my dear friend Annelle called "one thousand gifts" by Ann Voskamp. For me the challenge that I have picked up but dropped a few times is how to take moments to make the invisible visible. One of the things I struggle with is that I wholeheartedly believe the truths and promises found in God's word but sometimes I wish He was sitting right next to me and I could crawl up on His lap to tell Him about my day. I hope you don't find my confession nonspiritual. I mean I certainly tell Him about my day but sometimes the couch seems a little lonely especially when Milo is to busy outside guarding the premises. I know that is the intimacy that God does desire from us and yet who am I to want the creator of the world to be on my little worn couch?! Now the challenge found in the pages of Voskamp's book is that by having a grateful heart that pauses in the simple moments while the world busily moves along allows one to be moved in moments of grace that grant us glimpses of living in the glory of God. I also have to admit that this challenge is of course easier some days than others for one to be intentional. The enemy that prowls this world tries to distract us with hardship and negative that floods around us. I think living in another country has given me the experience to have eyes that see beyond what one thinks is normal. But, a side note (a question) is that even though I don't have much how is it that I have so much while so many of the people around me have so little? I think Paul's says whether in plenty or in want to be content. And sometimes the question is what is my plenty or in want? For example, I think a plenty is that I have a warm bed to sleep in and my want is that I continue to want to have a joyful heart regardless if I have a bed or not. There are many joyful people moving through my day who do not have the luxury of a bed. Just a silly example but hopefully you understand my point. Yes, contentment is important but complete joy in plenty or want is the open armed journey I run towards.
"Be thou my Vision" is one of my favorite hymns. Last week my vision watched children with tattered sweaters attempt to learn in a system that I have to be careful not to sit there and grind my teeth to the gum. Where I realized that Naserian's poor marks in school are because she can not read. She knew the material on the test but she could not read the questions. I was disappointed with myself because I should have realized that sooner but now we will help her. I see kids with dirty faces and dust as thick as hair happily standing along the dirt path of a road. The psalmist says, "to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord." Even with all the hurt and dirt in this world I pursue the challenge for my vision to be that gazes on the beauty of the Lord. Yesterday on my way home the sky was clear to see the rolling hills and before them was the filled with with flowers of a paint pallet. I stopped and as my eyes feasted on the creation I could feel my being filled up with the joy of the Lord. He wasn't on my couch but in a field with a million flowers filled with color. In these moments my heart is grateful for a glimpse of the joy of eternity that awaits me. This weekend we had a fun day for all the children who work at the Center with us at ages 4 - 12 years old. We did some tutoring of basic lessons, played on the playground, listened to the Bible story of Moses, finger painted and many fun activities. The hugs shared, smiles given, that moment when a child trusts you enough to snuggle in tight, the laughter sliding down the slide, giggles, heartfelt prayers with arms held up high, the listening ears, and the list goes on but all these things filled my heart with great joy as the sun shone brightly Saturday. But the purest of joy was found with the broadest smile across a boy named Petro. He is the 12/14 year old son of John. He is the second born in his family and lives a life with cerebral palsy. He can work at walking when someone assists by holding his torso, he is cognitive, but non-verbal. But, John with the love of a father has found ways to communicate with his son which was touching to observe. This was Petro's first time to ever have a chance to go to a school like setting and he was so excited! The moment of the day is when I helped Petro on the tire swing and he swung for the first time. The expression on his face was that of pure joy and with the pull back of the swing a laugh that was the sweetest sound I have ever heard. He held his arms out like he was flying and we were!
I don't know how it will occur or what that moment will be like when Jesus appears in the sky. Will we be long gone or will we still be walking on the Earth. I don't know. On that day I want to hold my arms out whether (flying or not) but to embrace a new life of eternity. A life where Petro's body of cerebral palsy will remain but the joy on his face will carry Him to His Heavenly Father. The smile that on last Saturday gave me an additional glimpse of the glorious gracious God I serve.
I don't know how it will occur or what that moment will be like when Jesus appears in the sky. Will we be long gone or will we still be walking on the Earth. I don't know. On that day I want to hold my arms out whether (flying or not) but to embrace a new life of eternity. A life where Petro's body of cerebral palsy will remain but the joy on his face will carry Him to His Heavenly Father. The smile that on last Saturday gave me an additional glimpse of the glorious gracious God I serve.
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
Psalm 27:4
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